Dont Forget
by girl-rabbit
Summary: What if during the fight with Riley, young, inexperienced Seth lost? What would happen when Victoria and Riley manage to get a hold of Bella? Would it jeopardize Edward and Bella's happy ever after? Twist of Eclipse.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT~**

* * *

Victoria was a good fighter. But I was better. Every 2 seconds or so, I would be able to rip a small piece of her out, and I was pleasured by it. This woman, this woman who wanted to hurt my Bella, would never ever get a chance to even lay her gaze on her anymore. This was going to end, soon, _now._

I tensed myself for a leap. Distracted as I was on Victoria's thoughts, I couldn't check in on Seth's. I guess he might be doing alright. Just when I was in mid-flight, something hard rammed on me and brought me to the ground. I had no time to waste, even a split second was unaffordable. I kicked the obstruction aside in 1/200 of a second and leap to my feet. I had no time to think about this useless junk which collided with me.

Until I heard a low whimper.

I glanced down for a fraction of a second. What I saw was a mass of brown hazel-nut fur, panting deeply. _Seth._ My mind was already racing through making the calculations. If Seth was here, _where was Riley._ That thought cost me, probably the biggest of my life.

"Bel-" Fear washed through me.

"Too late Edward," Victoria's sugar-coated voiced rang in my ears._ Too late Edward. Too late Edward. Too late Edward. _On her other side, stood a blonde vampire who looked permanently disfigured, chunks of him were missing here and there. Only a smaller part of my attention was focused on these trivial facts.

I could not bring myself to look at Bella, to see the innocent confusion in her eyes, the fear. Yet, it was simply too painful to look away. Any second, Victoria could …

"Why, Edward. Such false claims you have made, such false promises you have made to dear Bella over here. You said I would never touch her, then what am I doing now?" Her peals of laughter filled the clearing.

Right then, I wanted to rip her throat out, but how could I? Bella was so close and so fragile. There was a strange red-tint in my vision, with Victoria burning the brightest. I couldn't attack, as much as I would have wanted to. I would have to wait, I would have to stall her, until my family had finished off the battle, and they would come to help me.

"Why are you doing this Victoria? The girl is innocent; I was the one who killed James."

Victoria's lips pulled back to let rip a vicious snarl when I said James' name. I was suddenly afraid; a simple movement of her hand could be the end for Bella – permanently. I shuddered sub-consciously at that horrifying thought. Tears were streaking down Bella's cheeks, onto the ground where I could feel the gentle vibrations. She looked at me, trying to hold my eyes, but I could not look into her warm- chocolate brown eyes and not feel a pang of guilt and stabbing desire to embrace her in my arms.

"Well you see, I lost someone important long ago. Someone who…I …love-loved- very deeply." It was easy to tell that Victoria had trouble getting those words out. Riley, confusion apparent on his features, started to shake his head, staggering back with exaggerated slowness. "Victoria…"

He was in denial. He was suddenly unsure. _You lied to me…_

Victoria continued, oblivious. "I suffered greatly. Almost killed myself too. But then I decided to take revenge, you will pay for what you have done, Edward Cullen." She stabbed one cold finger at me. Her knuckles became whiter than their usual pearly colour, and contracted the slightest bit.

Bella screamed in pain.

"You will experience the pain that I went through." And she re-adjusted her footing.

There was a sickening crunching sound and Bella fell to the ground, writhing in obvious agony. My heart lurched forward, it ached. No, it did not ache. It burned, it stung, it tore and ripped.

"Stop, please stop." I pleaded uselessly.

"Come one step nearer and…" She did not bother to finish her threat.

"Why don't you just torture me? Torture me all you like, just let the girl go. Please, Victoria." I tried once more.

"Hah. Nice try, but pretty pathetic, don't you think? Now, where would be the fun in that?" Her smile turned sarcastic, mocking as she picked Bella up on her good shoulder and threw here against the mountain wall behind her. Bella landed on the hard ground beside it like a lifeless rag doll being thrown against a nursery wall in one of a child's little tantrums. Her body crumpled in pain, and it felt like I might just explode from the pain of watching this.

Blood gushed out from assumed to be a head wound. Suddenly, Victoria's eyes lost all mocking edge of sadism, all was left was burning thirst in her flat black eyes. This was my chance. Victoria turned to face Bella, hunger radiating from every inch of her feline body. She was distracted, exposing her unprotected back.

Something flew against her and knocked her down, ten feet away. It was Riley. Pure fury was glaring out of his eyes. _You lied to me, how could you?_ Rip,tear,rip,tear. _I trusted you so much, yet you lied to me. _Screech,shrieks,screech,shrieks. _Big mistake. _And then the screeching metallic sounds and Victoria's outrage cries disappeared altogether.

I picked Bella up carefully in my arms and ran. Downhill in the clearing, the battle raged on.

* * *

**oh,i kinda new to this fan fic thing, so i'm sorry if i've wasted your time if you do not like it. Yeah, and if there are at least maybe 3,4 reviews, i'll post the next chapter up.**


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT~**

* * *

Bella lay barely alive on the bed. Her breathing was tough, labored, but it was still there. She was bandaged up from head to toe; it was terribly painful to watch. Even in unconsciousness, some part of her still twitched involuntarily, as if in reaction to some unbearable pain inflicted on her. Here I sat, grasping her soft, warm hand in two of mine, hoping for a miracle.

* * * * ** * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Carlisle stepped into the room. _I'm sorry, son. I'll do everything in my power to help. _I nodded, and stepped out of the room. Just then, the house phone rang. Everyone was frozen that no one seemed to be able realize the stupid phone.

After 1 long second, Alice flitted towards it. She held it to her ear and her voice became light-hearted and cheerful in an instance.

"Hey Charlie."

"Oh, Bella's not going to be back today or tomorrow."

There was a loud buzzing on the other side of the phone.

"Relax, Charlie. Don't worry, she's fine. She, being Bella, fell from an escalator and hit her head pretty hard. Yes. Carlisle is treating her now."

"Yes..yes. She is unconscious at the moment but you have noth-…Now? It should…be..okay…I guess."

"Bye, Charlie."

_Oh no. He can't come here now, can he?_

"Don't worry Alice, Carlisle would get rid of him soon." I was surprised at how harsh my words came out, even all 5 pairs of eyes of my family flickered to me anxiously. I muttered something about needing time to think and flew up to my bedroom.

It wasn't long before a police cruiser pulled up on our driveway. The footsteps that followed were loud and rough, but hurried. Someone answered the door, Esme probably, but even so the footsteps did not slow. That's when Carlisle came out and met Charlie at the steps. A stream of assuring words flowed in Carlisle's flawless articulation, I wanted to believe him them, I really wanted to.

Charlie was shown into the room._Oh my, she's all bandaged up. Sigh…knowing Bella, I had a feeling something like this was going to happen. Well, at least she did have some fun with Alice and Carlisle said she'd be alright._

No. I wanted to scream at him. Don't blame Bella, it was my fault she ended up like this, not hers.

Charlie stayed for a few more hours or so before he left for the night. The whole family was out hunting except Carlisle and me. Carlisle was staying back to do a few more checks and monitoring before he left to hunt.

_Hmm… heart rate seems fine. Time to check the X-rays. _

I heard a silent gasp.

_A part of her brain that stores her most emotion-filled memories is damaged. Edward…there may be a possibility that…_

"NO!" I growled and barged into the room, holding Carlisle up by his collar. He stared back at me with sad blue eyes, ancient. "No…" I shook him hard, "there must be something you can do…" _I'm sorry, Edward. But there's still a small spark of hope that she will not lose her memory. _"No…" I shook him again but softer this time, pleading. _I'm sorry, Edward._ He gestured to the dark rings under his eyes. _I've got to go now._

He sauntered out of the room, sagged under his hunger and fatigue. Fatigue because there was impossible hope? I did not know, for he himself refused to think about it. His eyes were grave, and it looked as if they might just fill with tears if it were possible. I went over to sit beside Bella, and placed her hand in both of mine. I sat there, praying a thousand prayers, willing the inevitable to not occur.

* * * * ** * * * * * * * * * * * * *

* * *

**This was just a quick and short one. The next would be longer,promise. **


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT ~**

* * *

I miss Bella's sleep talking, though I still can't understand why she found it so embarrassing. She's so quiet, so still, not even a hint of a snore.

All of sudden, I feel a soft twitching of her palm.

"Carlisle" I called. I felt a surge of air rush through my hair, but I could not tear my eyes away from Bella.

I felt afraid, though I had been waiting God knows how long for Bella to regain her consciousness. Afraid that she might lose her memory, afraid that she would be in pain, afraid that she would not be Bella anymore. Well, of course, all my fears were silly…accept the first. Carlisle had given her all the painkillers she needed and Bella would always be my Bella no matter what. Her eyelids began to flutter, and I held my breath.

Her eyes were the first thing I noticed which set my heart beating again. I squeezed her palm gently.

"Bella," I breathed.

Her eyes were open, but she stared through me, looking disorientated. "Bella, love" I whispered again. "It's me, Edward." I rubbed soothing circles around onto the back of her palm, probably trying to calm myself down instead.

Anxiety was pilling up inside of me. Bella had not acknowledged me yet and until she did, the anxiety and fear that came with it would not disappear.

I stared intently at her, eyes begging, but she simply let her eyes wonder off. They touched the cupboard, the shelf, the couch, the potted plants, but those beautiful chocolate-brown eyes just would not meet mine. _Don't worry Edward, its only natural. She's been out so long; give her body time to adjust. _Carlisle placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder, and under his touch, I _tried _to relax a little. _Its okay, Carlisle is right. She'll come to soon enough. Its okay…its okay…_

Bella's eyes stopped searching, stopped wandering and landed on Carlisle. She seemed to be taking him in for the first time, I could see admiration colour her features, she truly looked liked she was seeing Carlisle for the first time. Then, she shook her head as if to clear out unwanted thoughts.

"Oh, Carlisle, it's you."

The sound of her voice brought more life into me. It was still as honey-coated as I remembered it to be, still the most beautiful melody to my ears. And then, when my heart was already running at full speed, she smiled. The smile knocked my breath out of me, although it was just a tiny one. She had often said that I dazzled her with mine, but how could I explain to her that it was the other way around. I too, despite the anxiety and fear, couldn't help but smile as well.

In and instance, her eyes were on mine. I searched her eyes, looking for what I was hoping to find. Yes, I saw something alright. The thing I saw in her eyes was different though, it was not admiration like the ones that brewed when she saw Carlisle, it was something different… something strange, unfamiliar. She glanced down to look at our intertwined hands, and using my free hand, I tried slowly reached towards her to stroke her face, if she let me, everything would be alright.

Her eyes darted up from examining our hands, and instead of inclining her head towards my touch that she always used to, she started upright and slapped my hand away.

"Don't, touch me!" she yelled. "Don't hurt me!"

I recoiled instantly, shocked. I sucked in my breath and the pain seared through my heart as if someone had poured gasoline inside me and lighted it with a match. Except that it was much, much, much more painful. I'd rather have Jane torture me, I'd rather have Felix rip me into shreds, I'd rather Jacob kill me than to experience this agony. I new pain was plain on my features; I knew I looked very vulnerable now, but what did it matter, when the love of my life thought I would… _hurt her._

Bella's hand flew up to protect herself, as if something vicious was attacking her. Carlisle took over, sat down on the bed beside her and cradled her in his arms, soothing her. He rubbed a gentle and reassuring hang against the small of her back. By now, the whole of my family was watching at the door.

"Shhh..hush. Nobody's going to hurt you, Bella." He looked at her intently. "Trust me." Bella nodded and her sobs quieted down to soft whimpers.

"Carlisle?"

"Yes, Bella."

She gestured towards me and whispered into his ear, "Would you make him go away?"

That did it. "Isabella Marie Swan, I'm Edward. Edward! Don't you know who I am? I love you and always have, always will. _I will never hurt you._ I saved you form the clearing, remem-"

"Clearing…mountain…MOUNTAIN." Bella flinched. Her eyes seemed far away. "Vic..vic..VICTORIA. Riley." She shrieked. "Werewolf..."

"Seth?" Carlisle asked.

"No…nonono..no. Not Seth, not Seth. Seth was hurt. You, Victoria and Riley."

She turned to glare at me, but there were traces of fear in her eyes. "You tried to kill me."

I burst out of the house, running towards the forest. Someone was chasing after me. Jasper. No, I could not let him manipulate my emotions. No. _Edward. _He didn't know how it felt, did he? To only be rejected but hated by your main reason for existence. No, he did not. This is a brand new emotion; never felt before, something he has never experienced. I could not let him catch up with me, I kicked into four gear and rocketed through the forest.

I ran and left my family behind, left my life behind, left my sanity behind, left my heart behind. I ran, and let Edward Cullen disappear completely.

* * *

**as promised,this is slightly longer. dont worry, this isnt the last chapter:) OH,AND I REALLY DO ENJOY THE REVIEWS. thanks so much^^**


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT~**

* * *

"Seth Clearwater! If you don't come down this instant…" Mom shouted from downstairs. Sigh, Mom. Ever since Dad passed away, everything's become so complicated. First was the existence of werewolves and vampires suddenly made known to us. Then, barely months after our 'transformation', we had to fight with bloodthirsty newborn vamps. Now, both Charlie and Billy have gone missing while on the usual Saturday-morning fishing trips. Life' so complicated, Dad would've known what to do.

Mom has become such a nag nowadays, I don't blame her though. Her spun-gold beautiful blonde hair has surrendered to a pale grey mess, her wrinkles more visible. Leah also took Dad's death very hard, maybe even worse than Mom. The whole werewolf thing hasn't exactly been very nice towards her, when she found out the truth about Sam and Emily… My brothers all think she's a bitch, but they don't understand, they really don't. Even with all these know-your-thoughts crap. She wasn't always like this; she used to be really beautiful and kind, better than most girls. You could see her brilliant blonde hair sway in the breeze and taste the scent of her daisy-kiss fragrance. Her smile was warm, inviting, exposing a row of brilliant teeth.

Now, her face has hardened, hopefully not permanently. Her locks are now cropped short at the side of her cheeks in a haggard pattern. Her thoughts are not so nice to hear, as if she's just closed in on herself, refusing to let anyone else in. In one word, she's become bitter. Her smile has turned scornful, vicious, with an icy edge to it. I tried talking to her once, she just brushed me off and mind my own business.

"SETH CLEARWATER! DO YOU HEAR ME YOUNG MAN?!"

I hopped down from my bed immediately; you don't know how Mom is when she's _really _angry. I ran down the steps two at a time, I did a somersault which landed my on the ground floor. I smiled, breathless, pleased with my antic. Leah rolled her eyes, "Grow up already." Mom just gestured for me to sit down and start eating. Someday, I would make them smile, I promised myself.

Leah made a sound. I ignored it. "Ugh, table manners. Don't slurp your soup like that; you'd think you were sucking blood."

Mom shot her a warning glance. "Hey! Don't say that!" I protested. I didn't like Leah talking about the Cullens this way. Until now, I still do not get the whole werewolves-and-vampires-are-enemies thing. Edward's a cool dude, totally. Oh yeah, Edward.

"Anyway, have you guys heard anything about Edward lately?" It was meant to be casual conversation to cool down the heated atmosphere, but both their heads snapped up to me immediately.

"What?" I asked, confused.

Mom cleared her throat and continued with her dinner. Leah continued looking at me, as if deciding whether she was going to say something or not.

"What is it…"I asked warily.

Leah seemed to contemplate something for a minute. Her brows furrowed. Finally, she looked at me an began.

"Hmm… _technically_ I'm not supposed to tell you this, but since I'm already damned in the pack, I might as well. You see, Edward isn't in Forks right now."

I heard my own intake of breath. There must be something wrong about the whole situation, something must have happened to Bella. And it was my fault. If I hadn't been so careless and arrogant while fighting with Riley, this wouldn't have happened.

"What happened to Bella?" I made my own assumption.

"Tsk, that she's fine. There's nothing wrong with her, physically at least. But mentally, not so good." Leah sniggered. "She-cant-remember-Edward." She spit it word out clearly.

"NO!" I almost wanted to shout, but it came out as a whisper. Leah, ignored me and continued, clearly enjoying herself.

"It seems that Bella's mind can't take in anymore of this supernatural nonsense. She's too simple minded, not much capacity there. So, instead of seeming incompetent, her mind chose to block it out completely, that's how I see it anyway. And obviously Edward-"

Mom shot her a warning glance. I was in danger of losing it. My arms were starting to vibrate violently. Leah ignored us both.

"And obviously Edward should've known that this was bound to happen someday. Love stories don't have happy endings. Especially when you really thought they were going to blossom into something more." Leah sniffed, clearly from her own personal experience. "Anyway, Edward shouldn't go all heroic and run away, hoping that Bella would come to her senses and try to look for him. Because, she won't. She can't even remember him for goodness sake! Edward should just get one with his lif-"

I grabbed her by the collar. "You're a bitch, Leah." And bolted for the door.

No one understood the Cullens like I did. They aren't enemies, but no one can see it from my point of view. They all have some stupid prejudice against them, even Mom, who's not even a werewolf. But the thing is, they never got a chance to get close with the Cullens, thus they did not understand them. However, there was one brother who had had personal encounters with them.

Although he still disliked them, it was not for the same reasons as the rest of the pack did. Jacob would want Bella to be happy as well, Jacob would do his best to help her if her could.

* * *

**hey guys, is my story getting boring?no one seems to wanna read anymore. PLEASE REVIEW. i dont mind negative reviews, they would be allow me to make my story better ^^ thanks**

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT~**

* * *

I rang the doorbell and stood there for a few seconds, waiting to hear the gentle squeal of the wheelchair against the wooden flooring, feeling strange when I didn't. I chuckled inwardly at myself. Of course I wouldn't, Billy and Charlie have been missing for 3 days now. Jacob would be immobile on his bed, thus I let myself in.

I trudged up the wooden stairs that creaked at every footstep. I gently knocked a few times before hearing the sound of someone stirring from their sleep.

"Hey," I called.

"Hey…Seth?"

"Yeah, bro. What's up?"

"No, what's up with _you _man. What brings you here?"

"Well…" I couldn't keep the fear from showing. "Its about the Cullens and Bella, I was wondering if you would be able to help."

He snorted. "Heh, what kind of trouble have they gotten themselves in with now?"

"You don't know?" I was genuinely taken aback, being the second in command, he should be able to know at least something. Sigh, I should have known they were keeping it from him, probably fearing it would mess with his recovery.

I took in a huge breath, exhaled and told the story. The emotions which flashed on Jacob's face were apparent; wonder, shock, smugness, joyful, questioning, more joy. When I finally finished, he was grinning from ear to ear. It was clear that he would not want to help me get Bella's memory of Edward back. How silly was I to think about it in the first place.

"So, you're saying that Bella can't remember the bloodsucker? Well, that's bloody fantastic."

I didn't have to be able to read thoughts to know what he was thinking. He started to get off the bed.

"Hey man, watch it."

"Chill, I'm feeling great." Well yeah, _duh. _"My injuries have all faded away, I was just taking a nap. This few days in bed have made me a teeny bit lazy y'know."

He flung off his blanket and stretched, his bones making a cracking sound. He got up and patted me on my head. "Thanks kid, that was the greatest news anyone in this pack have ever let me know."

My returning smile was half-hearted, but he couldn't care less, now that Bella didn't remember Edward. He suggested taking a visit to the Cullen household, eager to have Bella all to himself now. Sometimes, he's just such a jerk, Edward's suffering yet here he is, taking advantage of that very fact.

* * * * * * * * *

I am afraid to even step into the Cullen's house, after the all the damage I've done. What would they say? Would they blame me for everything that's happened between Bella and Edward? I feel terrible. If only there's a way to turn back the clock – I'd do it. I'd set everything straight, Edward doesn't deserve this, neither does Bella, although she doesn't know it yet.

Suddenly Jacob's hand is on my shoulder, and it breaks me out of my reverie which is becoming more outrageous by the second.

"Don't worry. They won't _kill _us or anything, will they? I'm nervous too, okay bro? What if Bella doesn't remember _me_?"

I stare at him in horror. Jacob would be shattered, he'd crumble. I try reasoning with myself, but it just keeps coming back to me, like a big bright flashing neon sign hovering in front of me: ITS YOUR FAULT!

I mean, if Bella can't remember Jacob as well, I can't help but feel really guilty. I mean, if it weren't for me…

"Easy, man. You're sweating bullets. Ready?" He lifts his brow as he places his hand on the doorbell.

I nod shakily. I can't seem to think of how I managed to let him persuade me to come here. What good could I possibly do here?

Suddenly the door is opened and Carlisle is smiling warmly at us. "Ah, Jacob. Here to see Bella I suppose." He turns to face me. "And you Seth? Quite a surprise to see you here."

"Oh…I…a came to check on Bella. Can't help but feel …you…know…Bella's safe" I stutter. I mentally curse myself.

Carlisle gives me another patronizing smile, "Well, yes of course. This way gentlemen."

I head up the stairs with Jacob. He nudges me and asks me to go downstairs and get him a glass of water. "What? You can be thir-" He gives me a what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you kind of look. _Oh._ I'm getting pretty slow these days. I guess he would want to have some alone time with Bella first or maybe he's afraid that two oversized kids may overwhelm her at first.

I nod and trudge down the stairs.

My first thought is _whoa._ For people who don't eat, the Cullens' kitchen is the one of every celebrity chef's dreams. Every table top, every base is made out of beautiful granite marble. All varieties of different pots and pans are hanging from a shelf in the middle of the kitchen. Why, come to realize, this kitchen is bigger than two of mine put together. I quickly grab a glass of water and head back upstairs. Trying not to think about the countless hours of fun I would have wanted to spend at eight years of age in this kitchen playing 'Cook'.

My stomach knots in anticipation. What has happened? How come everything's so quiet? I prepare myself to turn that harmless doorknob. As I open the door to the room, I gasp. The glass of water slips from my hands and soaks the carpet beneath me.

* * *

**HELLO. IF YOU READ THIS, PLEASE REVIEW. :):):) i'm really short of reviews right now, so i don't really get the inspiration like last time. sorry you had to hear that. but anyway,i really love this story and i hope you guys do to!:) Thanks to those who reviewed. So, please R&R. **


	6. Chapter 6

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT~**

* * *

No one seemed to notice my presence. No one seemed to hear the shattering of class on the floor. No one seemed to be able to relax from their positions in the tense atmosphere. There were two vampires in the room, two werewolves and one human. Jacob and myself, Bella, Carlisle and-

Edward came back.

But why?

He was crouched into a defensive position in front of Bella-not exactly how I imagined our reunion to be, who lay fast asleep, oblivious to all that was happening. He was glaring full-on at Jacob; if looks could kill, Jacob would have perished there and then. Jacob on the other hand, was looking at him defiantly, though a trace of fear tinted his whole being-the way his muscles contracted and tensed, the way a bead of cold sweat trickled down his cheek.

"Turn around and go home." Edward snarled softly, afraid to wake Bella up, probably. But that did not lesson the menace in the tone of his voice. "Now."

"Hah! So you can be alone with Bella and force her to remember you? Fat chance." The words came out less vicious than Jacob meant them to-his voice cracked at the end. He obviously, terrifyingly afraid but for the girl he loved, it was apparent he'd risk anything.

"Please, Jacob." Edward's eyes seem to soften just one bit. "Give me a chance. 3 months, that's all. And if she still can't remember, I'll go away and never return."

His gaze flickered to Carlisle whose eyes' had tightened.

He smiled painfully. "But I'll miss my family of course, but I will come to visit. When I do, I'll make sure Bella never sees me. You can take her any damned place you want to when I come. But please, just keep her safe."

It was easy to see that just talking about letting go of Bella pained him immensely.

"3 months? How can I be sure that you'll keep your word leech? The other time when you left Bella," Edward winced. "You promised her that you'd never come back, and look what happened."

A small growl was building in Edward's chest. Jacob was clearly getting on Edward's nerves but he controlled it well.

"I didn't come back. She brought me back, remember, the Volturi?"

That seemed to silence Jacob for a while. "So, 3 months huh?"

Edward nodded. "You have my word. But within these 3 months you are not allowed to be near Bella, she's not suppose to even see you. If you interfere…the deal's off."

Jacob contemplated that for a while. "I accept. But…if you do not keep your side of the bargain, I'll attack you. That means my brothers will join in and that will mean a huge fight. Understand?" And with that, he left the room.

I strode over to Edward and shook his hand tightly, "Good luck." And then I went to catch up with Jacob, knowing very well that he would need it.

* * * * * * * * *

* * *

**hey there's something screwed with my computer, some formatting stuff,but anyway, i would like to thank those who reviewed my last chapter:**

**rcole721 **

**Holly-SA-Cullen **

**Jazzys-Confedrate1861 **

**this chapter is short,yes, probably half as long as the previous. but i think that this short chapter really explains quite a lot, don't you think? i would like your opinions on whose POV i should write from next. should i stick with seth? i was thinking maybe Alice, Carlisle or Bella. REVIEWS PLEASE, i'm targeting about 5-7 reviews per chapter yeah? thanks.**


	7. Chapter 7

**DICLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT~**

* * *

In my dream, I was brought back to my four year-old self when I was playing with my two favorite toys- Ms Barbie and Teddy. Ms Barbie was gorgeous with her golden silk hair and a size-two figure. Her lips were strawberry pink and her eyes were big and bright. Mr Teddy was not exactly drop-dead beautiful, but he was cute in his own way. His deep-set black eyes never failed to cheer me up and he was always warm and cuddly on rainy days. I loved them both.

However, when I woke up one day, I couldn't find them in my room .I searched the entire house, until I found Jacky, my pet dog, chewing and gnawing at Mr Teddy. On the right, Ms Barbie was burning in the fire? Who had put them there? I was stuck in a dilemma of which to save. But then, either way, the one saved would still be damaged and the other would be left to perish. Not knowing what to do, I sat down and started to cry, being the young child that I was.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

I awoke with a start. I was surprised to find actual tears flowing down my cheeks. In front of me was the guy named Edward, his hand half-extended, probably afraid to touch me.

"Are…are you in pain?" He asked sincerely, as if he actually cared about me. I ignored the question, but his warm golden eyes refused to leave mine, and looked on questioningly. Feeling obligated, I shook my head infinitesimally, knowing that he could see, if he was really one of them.

He let out a breath a relaxed just a little, but the strain did not leave his eyes. I let my eyes run over him, taking in him properly. His features were perfect, for the lack of a better word. His arms were muscular, not bulging, and lean. His body was well-build and like his arms, lean and flat-muscled.

His face. It knocked the breath right out of me. I couldn't help but examine it over and over, mesmerized and stunned at the same time. His honey golden eyes were framed by thick, long lashes and his nose was shaped to perfection. His lips were full and inviting. And when he pulled them back into a smile, they revealed a set of pearl-white teeth.

I remembered what Carlisle had told me that night when I first regained my conscious ness. _Edward and you were together before this incident. He cares for you a lot and would never, I repeat, never hurt you intentionally. _Does it mean that he has hurt me before? _Give him a chance, and you'll see he's not what you think he is._

So, Edward and I were sort item. And turns out, he wasn't helping Victoria to slay me, but trying to save me. Weird, I thought it was Seth. But come to think of it, it does make sense…a little. Three wouldn't vampires won't be needed to kill a human girl like me; just one would be _much more _than enough.

I needed to know him better. But I couldn't ask him directly like that, could I? It would be way too embarrassing for me, and I guess to painful for him to live through. Who could I consult on this matter? Someone who I could trust would tell me every inch of the truth I needed to know?

Alice?

I needed to speak to Alice. But I couldn't actually _go _to her, with me all wrapped up in casts now. I had to attempt to talk, and ask er, Edward, to get her.

"Edward?"

"Yes?" Oh my gosh, could this person really, actually be my boyfriend?

"Could…could you get Alice please?"

"Sure. May I?" He gestured to a loose strand of hair hanging in front of my face.

I nodded stiffly. He reached out and swept it behind my ear and smiled. The movement felt so natural, as if he'd done it many times before, but somehow, it also felt strange, alien. He turned and strode out of the room in a gracefulness that even swans could not compare.

"Hey, Bella!" Alice chirped.

"Hi!" I replied. I felt so totally at ease with Alice. She was my best friend in the whole world, the only one who I could trust completely.

"So, what do want to talk about? Make up? Clothes? Oh, did you hear that Cameron Di-"

"Alice," I sighed. "You know what I want to talk to you about. Some psychic you are."

"Yes, you and Edward are an 'item'. You guys love each other A LOT, and you always feel very lonely and lost when he goes on hunting trips. That's the only time when he actually leaves you. And did you know, he dosen't go as far north as Jasper and Emmett to catch his favorite mountain lions because of you? He's afraid that if he goes too far, it'd actually take him that much longer to return to you. He doesn't want you to be afraid, lonely, whatever. He doesn't want you to be anything but happy. And if you told him to leave now, he'd do that, although it'd hurt him much more than you know." Alice stared at me earnestly. "Are you sure you can't remember anything at all?"

"Sorry," I really was. I felt cheated by my own mind.

Alice lifted herself off the bed. "Well then, time for the photos!"

She came back, carrying a large, oversized photo album in her tiny arms. "Here you go." I looked at it and right smack on the front cover was Edward and I. His arms were around me, and I was smiling happily. Suddenly, I noticed the ring on the fourth finger of my left hand.

I pointed to it and asked Alice, "What's that?

"Oh, its your engagement ring."

* * *

**Hey guys, so i decided to write from Bella's POV. and take note of Bella's dream at the start, it actually explains why she cannot remeber Edward. Anyway, that's just a clue. It does not really make much sense now though. Later on in the story, there is gonna come an explanation as to why she cannot rememeber Edward. so, i'm still targeting 5-7 reviews. not too ambitious^^ **


	8. Chapter 8

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT ~**

* * *

"My…what?!" I shrieked.

Then, everything was a blur; I'm not sure how it all happened. Jasper was beside me, soothing me emotionally both physically and mentally. I could feel a wave of calm washing through me, but my panic still held its ground.

On the other side of the room, Edward was glaring furiously at Alice. "Leave," he snarled under his teeth. Jasper's powers were obviously not strong enough for him.

"But Bella and I were just-" Alice's protest was cut off mid-sentence.

"Now."

Alice sulked and stuck out her tongue at Edward. However, she turned towards me and chirped happily," Bye Bella! Catch up with you after hot-head here has cooled down. Sorry bout it though. C'mon Jazz, let's go."

"Thanks, Jazz." Edward said, calmer this time.

Jasper ignored him. "You take care, Bella. Alice can be like this at times." And he strode out of the room after Alice.

I didn't really pay much attention to what he said. I was gazing at Edward. So…he was my _fiancé_? Gulp. Ugh, how did I ever agree to that? I mean, well, he _is _hot, handsome, supposedly very caring and loved me to the ends of the universe, but seriously, what was I thinking? Did he spike my drink or something? _Stupid, look at him. He really loves you silly._

I started hyperventilating as I stared at the beautiful diamond ring on my finger. I, Bella Swan, am eighteen and engaged. I just can't believe this. I stared up at my _fiancé_, who was growing visibly by the minute.

"Just…just give me a minute." I breathed.

He nodded.

Okay, I have to pull myself together. If I don't, I am going to lose it. Can anybody even imagine how it felt to be engaged to a person you'd only known for a day or so? I started tugging at the ring with my right hand, which was still in a damn cast. I failed miserably in my attempt to take it off. I didn't notice I was crying until I heard my own voice, thick with tears.

"I'm so sorry…but I have-have to-…I can't…." Why was I carrying? Was it because I was in shock? Was it because I was in denial?

"Hush, now…shh…it's okay." He attempted a smile, but I could see the hurt in his eyes. He took my left hand gently and removed the ring in one swift movement. His fingers lingered on my bare fourth finger. "It looked so beautiful on you." I didn't think he was speaking to me.

He looked up and realized that I hadn't stopped crying. "Don't worry about it." His voice was soothing but I guessed that it must have taken a Herculean effort to make it that way, after what I'd just done to him.

Suddenly, I realized why I was crying. I was crying because I was hurting him, this god-like person who'd do anything and everything for me. We obviously had a lost going between us, and now because of me, it was all gone…lost. And he didn't even make me feel bad for it, still trying to make me feel better after how terrible I was to him. Was this a reason why I fell in love with him? Here he was, showering me with all the love and understanding, and I couldn't even reciprocate.

"Sorry." I whispered, knowing that it was not enough to heal the damage done. I held out my hand to stroke his cool, marble face.

He lifted his own and pressed mine against the side of his face and inhaled. "I love you," he sighed. He arched one perfectly shaped eyebrow at me, expectant.

I chuckled nervously. "Er…"

He smiled, and it was so beautiful my heart ached, but it wasn't a happy one. "If only you could imagine what I'd give to hear you say those three words to me again."

I hated seeing him in so much pain. For some reason, I just couldn't stand it. Obviously, everything was coming along perfectly until Victoria came for revenge. I wanted it back. How could she take my beautiful memories away from me, interrupt my fairytale and weave it into a nightmare? How could she take away a chunk of my heart? And let those pieces of me die away together with her?

"I'm sorry." And leave me like this! That's all that come out of my mouth these days. I'm so useless; I might as well be mute. I want my memory back. I want to be able to love Edward like he loves me. I want it all back, badly.

"That's only two words you know." His velvet voice broke my train of thought.

"Oh, er…iloveyou." I said it quickly. Hopefully it would suffice until I got my memory back. I didn't feel anything special when I said it though, it was just like saying any other word like 'Hello" or "dinner". Probably because it wasn't exactly hundred percent true…for now. But I want to be able to love him, doesn't that count for anything?

He seemed thoughtful for a moment. "Ah…no,no,no. I'm not aiming for that yet. We'll start off slow first. Don't want to rush things for you," he laughed. "All I want to hear is 'I remember you' now. 'I love you' would be up to you decide later on."

I opened my mouth to speak, but he silenced me with one finger.

"And you must mean it."

Damn, he knew me too well.

"But first, you have to recover and get well. And then, we'll go to our meadow." The side of his lips slanted up into a crooked smile that somehow, seemed to melt my heart.

* * *

**hey guys, exams are coming up so yeah, i have to dad kinda thinks i spend too much time on this yep. haha. anyway, i've decided to update when i feel HIGH~ *thats when i get reviews* YAY:) 5 reviews,okay? thanks^^**


	9. Chapter 9

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT ~**

* * *

It felt weird standing upright after being bed-ridden for so long. My legs felt wobbly, maybe also owing to the fact that the most perfect person was standing in front of me, offering his hand. And that I was going to spend an entire day with him. My heart pounded furiously, in my chest which made it even more embarrassing-I knew he could hear it. I blushed automatically.

An annoyed sound came from behind me. "Oh for goodness' sake Bella, you're going to a meadow not a torture camp." Alice was obviously getting impatient. "Do you want me to call Jasper?"

I shook my head and took a deep breath to calm myself. I held out my hand shyly and he took it. He pulled me out the door slowly as I turned back to look at Alice. "Go on," she mouthed encouragingly and I waved back.

Once outside, Edward swung me onto his back.

"Oh," I gasped.

"Sorry, did I frighten you?" I could hear the smile in his voice. "Just hang on tight, and don't let go. We won't want you back on the bed for a broken back."

"Why…?" I was suddenly suspicious and unsure.

"Trust me"

"Okay." I tightened my arms in a choke hold around his neck and lock my ankles securely around his waste. _Ow. _It felt like gripping stone.

He half-turned his hand to glance at me on his back, I could see a side of his mouth pulling out to form that crooked smile that never failed to knock the breath out of me. "You actually trusted me, thank you."

"Well, of course. I'm probably not-"

We were suddenly flying through the thick vegetation of the forest. Everything was blurred, and then I looked down and Edward was running. _Holy cow, it's so much faster than I thought. Hmm,…I've got a feeling that he could outrun Alice anytime. _I buried my face in his shoulder blades and breathed in the wonderful scent of him to prevent me from doing something I would regret. Like get sick.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

The meadow was the loveliest place I had ever seen…as of a fortnight ago- Edward told me that I had been here many times before and we used to call it "our meadow". The meadow was small, perfectly round, and filled with wildflowers-violet, yellow, and soft white. Somewhere nearby, I could hear the bubbling music of a stream. I was hesitant at first, feeling the strangest sense of déjà vu. Edward must be right then.

"So, I've been here before, and it's just that I can't remember it." I asked.

Edward was already partially in the meadow, under the buttery sunshine which made half of his body sparkle brilliantly. "Yes," he sighed. "Beautiful, isn't it?"

I nodded in agreement, too awestruck to form a coherent answer. Edward looked even more stunning in the sunlight than ever before and with his crooked smile, he absolutely, hundred percent, drop-dead gorgeous. I had no reason to fear him.

I skipped lightly to his side and into the meadow. The grass was soft beneath my pumps and the fragrance of the flowers was intoxicating. He invited me to lay down beside him, patting the soft grass with a sparkling white hand.

"This was how we spent our first Saturday together." He recalled.

"Oh," was all I could reply.

We lay there in silence for a couple of minutes before he broke it with a question.

"What are you thinking about?"

"I'm just trying to imagine what we talked about on our first day here."

He chuckled. "Well, we were talking about my diet, actually. And I had such a hard time explaining to you the attraction you hold for me. You _were _a bit insecure then."

"Was not!" I pouted and then laughed out loud. It sounded so natural, so carefree. I felt warmer than I had felt in weeks. I cleared my throat, trying to hide my embarrassment, "So, do you think that maybe …you know, you could explain things to me again? We're not so good on memory here." I tapped my temple.

He laughed briefly. "You were always afraid that you weren't good enough for me and that I would leave you someday because-"

"Did you?" I couldn't help but interrupt.

A wave of sadness washed through his features. Had I said something wrong? I was about to reach out and comfort him when he composed himself enough to whisper, "Yes. Yes, I did."

"Why?" I could feel the shock on my face. I felt a slight sting, though I didn't know why. My eyes started to prickle but I would not let myself cry. I was being ridiculous. Why was my body behaving this way? Is there yet another thing that is wrong with me? My mind was telling me to stop being stupid but my heart would not listen, and started throbbing.

He looked at me warily. He must have heard my heart.

"Tell me everything." I asked. Obviously, this part made up a huge portion of my life. This might be essential in recovering my memory, I think. My heart was reacting in an insane manner; it felt like there was something deep inside trying to tear itself out. This was important, I could feel it.

"Well…" his voice broke and he paused.

Although my whole being was tearing itself apart for no bizarre reasons, I prompted. "Go on, no editing. I need to know this. Please, Edward."

He opened his mouth to speak, but he closed it again. He seemed reluctant to speak. "Bella," he stared at me earnestly, his golden eyes piercing mine, "I don't want to put you through that again." His words started to flow so fast, I really had to strain my ears to catch them all. "I can't Bella, I just can't. Relieving those memories again- it's just too much for me. I don't want to hurt you a second time Bella. You don't have to know about this. If you can't hurt because you don't remember, I'd rather you not remember or anything else about it for that matter. _Including me._"

He was wrong. I am hurting now. But how can I explain to him that my heart is ripping itself apart and letting rip a wave of hurt that was threatening to envelope me and consume me? How could I tell him that my muscles were convulsing and my eyes prickled? He would think that I'm insane. And he would blame himself. My mind has completely forgotten about him and everything about him, but apparently, my body hadn't.

"Edward…"I whispered.

He cupped my face his cool hands, so that my cheeks were squished together, preventing me from talking. "Don't fret, love. For now, we shall just focus on getting you started. By remembering the things worth remembering." He smiled. "Like the happy things." But then, as sudden as it had appeared, his smile faded abruptly.

"You have no idea how much it hurt to look into Jacob's"-he growled the name-"mind and see how you looked like then." He shuddered delicately.

Sigh, I guess I should let him off the hook. If he doesn't want to talk about it, I won't force it. Anyway, there were other ways to recover my memories, _although not as potent, _but yes, there were other ways. But I had just one casual question left on that topic.

"Who's Jacob and what has he done to you?" I asked. He raised an eyebrow incredulously as if I was asking a really stupid question and the answer was obvious. "Well, I heard you growl his name then?" Suddenly, his brow furrowed and he frowned at me.

"Wait, Bella. Did you say 'Who's Jacob'?" He asked.

"Well, yeah." I replied. _Oh boy, I really have forgotten quite a lot._

Edward stared at me in shocked disbelief.

"Bella, are you sure you don't know who Jacob is?" He asked warily, reading my eyes as if to see if I was playing some sort of a joke on him. I racked my brains, Jacob, Jacob, Jacob…nope, nothing.

"Is he a guy from school? I don't remember, really Edward."

A loud howl echoed off from within the forest. It was the single most deafening sound I'd ever heard. It sounded like the animal was in serious pain. Beside me, Edward let out a low hiss.

* * *

**hey guys, sorry for the infrequent updates. Its just that i have my exams now and yeah, you know, i have to study. but bear with me until mid October, please. And then i promise i'll try to update every other day. Again, i'm begging for reviews. thanks so much^^**


	10. Chapter 10

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT~**

* * *

All shock on Edward's face was gone - vanished. Replaced by a strange hostility which honestly, frightened me a little. A low growl was building in his chest.

"Jacob…I don't want to hurt you. Phase back, walk away dog." Jacob is a _dog_? Who can understand English? "It doesn't help even if you show yourself to her, she doesn't remember. Don't. Interfere." And why was Edward acting so hostile?

And then, the man whom I assumed to be Jacob stepped out of the shrubs and trees. He was quite tall, how old was he? Even though completely unarmed, everything about him screamed dangerous. "You're…you're a guy from school am I right? A senior just like us? A classmate?"

A strange shade of disappointed flickered across his face. His arms were trembling although I though _I _was the one who should be feeling afraid. I waited, waited to feel afraid of this guy in front of me. This guy whose eyebrows mashed together in anger…or pain, whose heavy muscles were tightened, whose height alone would be the envy of any of Fork's basketballers. I waited, but I did not feel afraid.

Instead, I felt an overwhelming urge to step forward and embrace him in my arms- to comfort him. Although he was huge and adult-like, he looked very innocent and vulnerable, beneath the bravado. It almost as if I could see through him, could see young child, in need of the warmth of a reassuring embrace. He was still trembling. Was he hurt that I'd made a wrong assumption about him? That I forgot him? Well, it wasn't anything personal.

Edward tugged on my hand. When I failed to respond, he pulled me behind him and stepped both of us backwards, causing Jacob to tremble even more. Now, I really wanted to go up to him and comfort him. I took an involuntary step in front around Edward, who was half-crouched in a defensive position now, but his grip held me back.

"It's not safe, Bella." He murmured, only for my ears. So I was quite surprised when Jacob snorted, "I would never hurt here bloodsucker." As if he heard every word Edward had said. I nodded obediently to Edward's words and stepped back. Edward and Jacob looked like they were having some kind of discussion between them. Good. As –well I wouldn't really use the word _men_ for Edward- grown men, they should be able to sort whatever feud between as civilized people. Not wanting to interrupt, I took the time to do some thinking about who exactly was this Jacob person.

Hmm…could he be a friend of Edward's? I looked at them. Okay, not. Classmate? Neighbour? A co-worker at Newton's? And then it struck me. I replayed Edward's words in my head again.

"_Phase back…dog."_

Jacob's non-stop trembling. His towering figure. The obvious animosity between the both of them.

_Oh._

"Werewolf," I whispered. Both of them managed to catch that, and turned to look at me. No, stare at me. Edward looked confused and Jacob looked hopeful.

"Are you staring to remember?" He blurted out, unable to hide his enthusiasm.

"Umm, no" I replied. His face fell noticeably. I instantly felt horrible for saying that, but it was better than telling lies, right? "Well, I'm sorry but-it's just that…"

"'Sokay, Bells." He answered, distracted. "Seeya soon."

I felt Edward stiffen beside me as Jacob came forward and buried his nose in my hair. I was overcome by a warm coursing its way through my body. I held onto him a bit longer than I needed to. He chuckled and pulled away, disappearing into the dense vegetation.

* * * * * * * * *

The house felt too big, too empty for me without Charlie in it. I miss him. Being the chicken that I was, I had Edward stay with me in it almost every night- of course, except when he had to hunt, that was understandable. I needed to be less insecure.

After Edward had dropped me off at my house, he had left for a short hunting trip. I mean, it was totally to be expected- he hadn't hunted since my accident. Although he promised that it would be a short one and that he'd meet me at his house the next afternoon – I was still undergoing daily check-ups by Carlisle-I somehow felt hollow inside when he left. A sort of emptiness, unexplainable by nature but felt inside the being nonetheless.

I'd plan to go to sleep early that night, so that time would be faster and I could see Alice again. But before that, I decided to read a little bit of Wuthering Heights before knocking off. After brushing my teeth, I went to place my reading glasses into a bedside drawer. I felt something hard and I pulled it out, turned on the lamp and looked at it. I mean really looked at it.

I never kept a diary before. At least, I don't think I did. The diary felt like it weighed a ton in my hands. I flipped to the first page, and there in my own handwriting:

_The Life Of Bella Swan_

_

* * *

_

**Hey guys, _I FEEL SO ALIVE AND FREE._that's because my exams are over, yay! so, a really big THANK YOU to you for continuing to read my fanfic. I'm sorry, it took so long and the chapter is not that long. That's because i haven't wrote fanfic in like ages, so this is like a 'refresher' or whatever you want to call it. I promise to try  to update at least twice a week, kayy? no guarantees though. Ohya, if any of you read harry potter as well, you should go read .net/s/5415671/1/A_Locket **

**its a fanfic based on harry potter yeah. she's just starting out, so, if you could, give her some support(:in the form of REVIEWS. and did i mention, i wouldn't mind a little support myself. PLEASE REVIEW. thanks so much^^**


	11. Chapter 11

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT~**

* * *

Alice was out hunting with Edward, Emmett and Esme. Sigh, Bella should be coming over anytime now for her daily check up. I looked around, Carlisle had his head bent over a German Encyclopedia he'd read a thousand times over, relaxed. He'd just return from the hospital, supposedly on a 'lunch break' to give Bella her check up. Rosalie was in her room, admiring herself, as _usual_. She was arrogant, satisfied with what she saw.

I settled with the relaxed mood of Carlisle's, allowing myself to loosen up my tensed muscles. Refusing to think about how off Alice was acting lately. She seemed distracted somehow, and whenever she kissed me, it felt like she was afraid and frightened that it would be the last, like she was going to lose me somehow, tense. I saw and felt the worry in her eyes, yet whenever I asked her about it, she would always say that she was worried about Bella. I never got the chance to talk to Edward about it; he was rarely around, always spending time with Bella. I guess Alice would get over it soon enough, she wasn't the type who'd keep secrets from me.

Suddenly, the relaxed mood radiating out from Carlisle transformed slowly into that of anxiety. I glanced at him, alarmed by the sudden mood change. He met my gaze, his eyebrow creased with worry.

"What is it, Carlisle?" I asked.

"Oh, it's nothing really." He paused and then exhaled, "It's just that Bella should be here by now."

I glanced at my watch- 1.30pm. Bella should have arrived by 1pm, considering the speed of her ancient truck.

"I'll call up the Newtons." I responded, she was probably caught up at work. But part of me did not feel right about it, like something _was _wrong. Alice would be so mad if she knew that something had happened to Bella while she was gone- that's why she left me here, to make sure Bella was safe. Edward would probably rip my throat off, not that it'll kill me, but I would probably be quite pissed. I brushed that thought aside, Bella was perfectly fine…I hope.

"Hello, Mike Newton from the Newton's Outdoor Equipment Store. How may I help you?"

"Is Bella there?"

There was a short pause. "Umm, she did not turn up for work today. We assumed she is still recovering from her car accident." Something was definitely wrong. I hung up the phone, and nodded at Carlisle, before disappearing through the front door, racing towards Bella's house.

Shoot. I bet her neighbours would freak out if they saw me suddenly appearing at her door with wind-blown hair. I backtracked and slid into Alice's Porsche. It was the fastest car we had to date, Rosalie probably would mind big time if I took her BMW convertible. I stomped on the gas pedal and the car flew onto the road.

Edward shouldn't have flung it against the ground and smashed it, he should have given it to me. I heard him say to Bella something about wanting to give it to me, but who knew, when he came back after sending Bella to her camp, he smashed it into pieces. Well, I _thought _I knew he was going to have some way to vent his anger; he was really upset over that matter.

And then it hit me. Like a strong wave, filled with confusion, denial, hurt, pain, knowledge… it's too much for me. Ouch, my head hurts, but I can't make it stop. I grip the sides of my head, as I fight my way to Bella's front door. I knock three times. No answer. I knock again. No answers. I thought she might have wanted some basic courtesy, as far as I knew; only Edward and Alice were permitted to sneak in through her bedroom window.

But this was no time for games. Bella was ______ (fill it in with whatever you wish), I could tell, from the vicious pounding in my head, as my mind struggled to deal with the onslaught of information radiating from Bella. I gasped.

Bella was curled up on the floor, in a fetal position. Her arms were wrapped around herself, it was as if she was trying to hold herself together. Her cheeks were tear-stained, and her whole frame was shivering, vibrating. Her hair was a mess, he clothes were a mess, her room was a mess, she was a mess. I tried to calm her down, but she was unable to absorb it. Then, with all my concentration, I focused on soothing her into a trance, a kind of sleep. Slowly, her eyelids began to flutter and a yawn escaped from her lips. She barely made eye focus with me, before slipping into a deep trance. There, I'll just take her to Carlisle now.

However, the moment I averted my concentration, she began to awake and her _____ emotions started to seep into me again, giving a numb headache. I concentrated on influencing her again, and she settled back down into her trance. Oh boy, it's going to take all my concentration on keeping her like this.

*************

Something was burning downstairs. Was it a fire? Or was it someone's emotions. I cannot be sure, my concentration pulled to its highest limits. Before I knew it, I was knocked towards the far-side of the room, by Edward. That bastard. But of course, it was understandable, Bella was not well- he would be worried. Maybe more than worried. I still remember the time when he'd found out that Bella had ditched us at the airport in Phoenix to go after James, a shudder ran down my spine. Still, that bastard.

He was grasping her hand, shock a prominent feature on his face. Bella was shying away from him, curling up into some sort of ball. I knocked him away, _gently_, so that his body was just shuffled to the side. I brushed his hand away from Bella's, _gently_, a replaced it with mine. Edward gave me an incredulous look, but I just nodded at him, not bothering to explain. He would know.

I rubbed soothing circles on her hand with my thumb and calmed her by sending her waves of pure, white currents. She immediately began to calm down. I replayed everything I experienced today in my head today- an explanation to Edward. I suggested he go talk to Carlisle about what exactly was happening to Bella, _Don't worry, I'll make sure she's okay._

He nodded one pained nod and strode out of the room. Alice was peering in by the door, a worried look on her face. She glanced at Bella, and then at me, and back to Bella again. Alice loved Bella too, and I knew it hurt her to see Bella like this.

"Alice, don't worry. Bella's going to be fine; I've got it under control. Carlisle and Edward are discussing Bella's condition now, maybe you would like to talk to them as well." She nodded, but her emotions betrayed her. She was still worried; maybe she'd seen something- that Bella would _not_ be alright.

"What, Alice? Will something happen to Bella?" I asked.

She shook her head. "Bella would be alright, yes. She'd be fine…" She met my curious gaze. "Its just that well, Jazz, I'm worried about you." Those beautiful eyes of her looked at me full-on. I was confused. The emotions radiating out of her were not white, cloudy-a sign of relief. Instead it was giving me the taste of insecurity. Alice was feeling insecure? She came forward, leaned down and pecked my cheek. You wouldn't know how good that felt after such a long time being separated.

She darted out and I could hear her Porsche pull out of the garage and speed off. Of course, whenever she felt troubled or stressed, she'd go _shopping_.

* * *

**hey guys. if you haven't guessed yet, YES, i'm writing from Jasper's POV. i'm not really that good on the stuff about 'this color means this mood' kinda thing,so, if you happen to be an expert on that, please forgive me. writing from Jasper's POV is fun!:D i really enjoyed that. what about telling me what you guys think,okay? and i'll just keep writing the story. DEAL? yay! just click on that greenish whitish button below. thanks so much^^**


	12. Chapter 12

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT~**

* * *

When I was sure that Bella had already fallen asleep, I relaxed my influence over her. She'd be good for another twelve hours or so. I rose from my chair beside her bed, and stretched. I glanced down at her, even in sleep, she somehow did not seem peaceful. I retrieved the small notebook I found clutched in her hands when I found her this morning. A peek wouldn't hurt would it? Anyway, if we knew to cause of her

upset we would somewhat know how to cure it, right?

I flipped to the first page; _The Life of Bella Swan_. Whoops. Wrong choice. Alice and Bella would kill me if I read it. Its some girls' thing I guess. Without reading on, I slid the book back into my pocket as if nothing had happened. I'll go see what Edward and Carlisle are up to.

I paused at the door.

"What's happening, Carlisle?" Edward whispered; dejected. "I don't know what to do anymore."

"Edward," Carlisle sighed as he rested his palm on Edward's shoulder. "When I first examined her after…that incident with Victoria and Riley, I examined wrong." Carlisle took a deep breath, a wave of remorse radiated out from Carlisle.

Edward stiffened. "I want every word, Carlisle. Jasper, come in here, I know you're outside." Bella's diary suddenly weighed a ton as I stepped into the room, shocked at first by the tense atmosphere in the room. Carlisle was nervous- I should help him with that. Slowly, I released a calming yellow mist towards him, soothing his being from head to toe.

"When Bella hit her head," I felt Edward wince beside me, "severe damage was not done to her memory but more so to the part of the brain which deals with emotions. That's why she can remember us and what we are. And that's also the reason why the only people she cannot remember are Edward and Jacob."

I stared at him, confused. Carlisle seemed reluctant so say it out loud, as if it was already immensely difficult. Edward must have known the reason why the moment it appeared in Carlisle's head, so the only reason he would want Carlisle to say it out loud was for the benefit of me.

"Yes, Jasper needs to know too. Since he's her _guardian angel_." His face pinched up in pain. I wouldn't need his gift to know what he was thinking- how much he yearned that it was him and not me, that it was himself who was keeping Bella safe, not me. He feels that it is his job not mine, and he blames himself for not being able to do that for her.

Carlisle ignored the last part of Edward's comment, and turned towards me. "Edward and Jacob were pulling her apart emotionally," he risked a glance at Edward. "She loved both of them, but of course she wanted to be with Edward more. However, that had its consequences. Every minute she spent with Edward resulted in, of course, one less spent with Jacob which led to her to feel more distressed. She felt guilty for the pain that Jacob felt, and would torment herself for his pain. She was also angry at herself for allowing Edward to see through her, and that he could see she loved him as well."

"Wait, how do you know all this?" I asked, patting the diary in my pocket.

Edward gave me one of his how-stupid-do-you-think-I-am looks and said, "Jazz, don't you know that Bella is like an open book? Did I mention that she can't lie properly, not to me at least."

"Thus," Carlisle continued, "Once Bella hit her head, it was something like hitting the 'reset' button. Most _unpleasant _memories were gotten rid off, including the causes of a major part of her distress- the memory of Edward and Jacob. Or it could be the memories which triggered the most emotions in her. The ones who were most important to her, who have impacted her deeply."

"But Bella was fine…" I let my question trail of into and invisible question mark.

"Yes, yes" Carlisle's forehead creased in confusion the same time Edward got off his chair and started pacing. "That's what we're confused about. There must have been something that triggered that instinct, to protect herself from further emotional harm. But we don't know what…"

My thoughts flickered to the diary in my pockets. Before I knew it, it was gone from my pocket and handed to Carlisle. "Her diary?" Edward asked me. "Jazz…how…when?"

Carlisle began to flip through her diary. I placed my hand over it, "You know, its some girls thing. They don't like _boys_ reading their diaries." Edward slapped my hand away.

"Ah," Carlisle sighed. And he began reading whatever was written there out loud.

_When he left_

_He never returned me my heart_

_Tore me_

_Apart_

_Tears have poured _

_Stinging like acid_

_Attacking_

_My core_

_Can't breathe…_

_Its so hard to survive but_

_For Charlie, for Jake, for Renee_

_I must_

_The hole in my heart is_

_Impossible to_

_Ignore_

_The pain never fades, just keeps getting _

_More_

_And _

_More_

_Sometimes I wonder why_

_I don't _

_Fall apart. The emptiness continues to_

_Envelope me, no ending, no_

_Start_

_Everyday my eyes yearn_

_To look at him_

_My nose yearns for his scent_

_My arms yearn to embrace him_

_But then I remember that _

_He went away_

_He no longer cares_

_No longer wants to share_

_The memories which keep _

_Burning_

_Me_

_Now all that's left is just _

_I _

_Torn apart from _

_We_

_I shall continue to burn, I cannot_

_Be healed._

_So before I am completely lost_

_I write this_

_Hoping for him to _

_Read it one day_

_So that he will understand_

_A little _

_About what happens to _

_A_

_Broken _

_Hearted _

_Girl._

I was rendered speechless, Bella did poetry? I could feel the emotions of he poem boring down on me, it made me want to just curl up and escape the world. But of course, it was not my own, it was Bella's. I could feel her pain, understand it. I could feel her longing for her other half. I could feel her struggle to stay alive. I could empathize with her.

"What…now, Carlisle?" Edward's words came out half strangled. I tried to shield Edward's emotions from myself – I was barely able to cope with Bella's.

Carlisle deliberated for a moment, "I'm not sure, Edward. But I have a theory… Since Bella's mind considers you a threat to her emotional health, you should try to _show_ her mind that you can be trusted. Gain back her trust, talk to her, comfort her. Maybe the other good memories would come back as well."

Edward was halfway out the door when Carlisle warned, "Better take it slowly first, Edward. I believe she's still traumatized." He looked at me and I nodded.

"And, she's still sleeping." I told Edward and he rolled his eyes at me.

* * *

**heyy guys, thanks LOADS for the reviews. I mean, it seriously builds up my _buzz_, y'know? This is not the last chapter, no worries. Now that exams are over and all that, i really enjoy writing fan , so i'll try to keep on writing from Jazz's POV, for as long as the storyline allows me to(: thanks so much (again) the reviews. i'm content(: yay! looking forward to more! thanks so much^^i hope you guys continue to support me(:**


	13. Chapter 13

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT~**

Bella's POV.

* * *

Edward's turning out to be a really nice guy. He's sweet, he's charming, he' understanding, he's patient… I could go on and on. I think I falling for him. But although that's what everyone wishes and hopes for, it feels wrong somehow, like I'm short changing him.

The Bella he loves is not me, it can't be me. She's not me anymore; I'm just Bella, not Edward's Bella. I feel like I'm cheating him of his love, if I were to accept it. The truth is, I do love him, and he says he loves me, but he's wrong. He loves Edward's Bella, not me. He doesn't deserve this – to love someone who couldn't love him the way she once had.

I'm emotionally unstable – I'm a total wreck. That's why Alice can't see my future anymore, why Jasper is finding it tough to be near me nowadays. I'm an invalid, riding on their kindness and generosity. I'm getting their full support of love and care; something Edward's Bella earned, not me. I don't deserve all this because I'm not her, I'm not the Bella whom they all care for, I'm just not.

But, the thing is, I'm selfish enough that I don't want to let him go. I want to keep him with me, always. Although it's not me he loves, I'm selfish enough to want that. I don't see any other option.

I'm in love with him.

It was inevitable. Who could resist him? But still, it doesn't spare the fact that I'm such a selfish and hideous person. How can I tell him that the Bella that he loves is long gone, when it may mean that he'll leave me? How can I tell him that I love him, when it will only complicate things further? How can I tell him stop loving 'me', when it'll only hurt me more?

* * *

I awoke to a gentle rubbing motion on the palm of my hand. I rub my eyes groggily.

"Huh?" I murmured, disorientated.

"I'm sorry, Bella. But-"

"Yeah. I know, its time to take my medicine." I yawned. Apparently, there was some sort of a blood clot in my skull, because I'd bump my head hard recently. Maybe while reading the…diary. Anyway, thank God its nothing serious.

He smiled and handed me two pills and a glass of warm water. I swallow nosily and began sipping the remainder of the water bit by bit.

"Edward?" I ask.

"Yes, Bella?" Edward replied promptly.

"I was wondering,…what would your life have been like if you'd never met me?" My breath was fogging up the glass. I wasn't sure if I really wanted to hear the answer. If he told me that it would be different, different-better? I knew he would not really say the truth if it would hurt me, but I think I knew him well enough to detect any false note in his eyes.

He touched my face softly, his eyes gentle, "It wouldn't be a life worth living."

"Oh."

"What about you?" His unexpected question surprised me.

"Huh?" I asked, stalling, glad that he couldn't read my mind.

"What would _your _life be like if you'd never met me?" he asked.

Oh no. This was the moment I'd wish I'd never have to face. But it was childish thinking; one could only hide for so long. I've got to face it sooner or later, but I'd never dreamed it'd come so soon.

I had not spent enough time with Edward yet, not enough for me. I know it would be selfish, to keep him with me for any longer than I already have.

But sometimes, if you love someone, you've just got to let go. I heard from Alice that there was this one vampire, Tanya, who liked him. Maybe he could be happy with her, she was better for him than I was for him. But of course, Edward's Bella was better, definitely, but me? -I'm not sure.

I sighed. I hope I was a better liar than Edward's Bella was.

"Edward…there's something you need to know."

I closed my eyes as I continued, "I'm…" Why was it so difficult to say the words that would hopefully make life better for him? Come on.

"Edward, I'm in love with Jasper."

I heard a sudden intake of breath, which burned me more than anything. I could feel moisture flowing from my eyes, drop by drop, scalding me when they made contact with skin.

_Letting go doesn't mean you're weak, sometimes it just means you're strong enough to let go._

_

* * *

**hey guys, my apologies. I know its been,like, 123456789 years since i last updated. Its just that i'm much busier than i expected with other commitments. sorry. i havent touched writing in,like,forever as well. hope you guys still like reading this fanfic, tell me if you think my writing has deteoriated, kayy? ooh...i'm turning 13 soon! cant wait to be teen. love you guys. remember to review(:**_


End file.
